Archive for the ‘Fan Fiction’ Category

World’s Dirtiest Thesaurus

June 28, 2009

I’ve spent all afternoon writing a wildly pornographic Twilight-based fan fiction story.  Yes, I know it’s Sunday, but my morals and interests are awkwardly juxtaposed.

I never realized in reading erotica how difficult it is to come up with new and interesting words to describe a sex act; the seven dirty words lose much of their value when repeated ad nauseum.  I was boring myself with my own fantasy.

When I’m writing non-porn–which I do fairly often–I have my trusty thesaurus nearby.  Unfortunately, Webster saw fit to skip frustratingly from “pushover” to “put” with nary a mention of the word I was looking for.  Similarly, I was sad to find “coax” immediately followed by “code”, and that “tissue” went straight to “title”.  I had a glimmer of hope when I found “breast” right where it was supposed to be, but it was quickly squelched when the first synonym turned out to be “thorax”.

Edward unbuttoned Bella’s blouse and then gently cupped her thorax in his elegant hand.

That just won’t do, now will it?

Then, Edward’s own words came to me:  You can Google it. And I did.